DRAMA: Radio Afters
The Literal Family: Chapter 1
We took everything literally, just like this family.
Cast In Order Of Appearance:
Narrator
Sissy
Gerund
Ma
Pa
NARRATOR
And now for a day in the life of the Literal Family with Ma and Pa Idiom and the twins – Sissy and Gerund.
SFX: Literal Family opening theme
SISSY
Ma, she's rubbing me the wrong way!
GERUND
You said if I scratched your back, you'd scratch mine.
SISSY
Ma! Now she's pulling my leg!
MA
Both of you stop that. Now, one of you go tell your Pa that the early bird caught the worm.
GERUND
But then he'll be outside all day looking for it.
SFX: crash
MA
What was that?
SISSY
Nothing, Ma. I just dropped the ball. Hey, who let the cat out of the bag?
SFX: cat cries
MA
Don't worry about the cat, she'll just go out on a limb.
SFX: crash
MA
Now what's going on?
GERUND
The curtain fell. We need a new rod.
MA
I guess you're right. Better safe than sorry.
SISSY
Ma, do we have time to race around the clock?
MA
No, you'll be late for school.
SFX: knocking
MA
See who's at the door.
SISSY
It's Pa.
GERUND
Yeah, he's got the cart before the horse again.
SISSY
Whatcha got in the cart, Pa?
PA
A lock, stock and barrel, Sissy.
GERUND
Oh, well I think I'll go sit on the fence.
PA
Watch out for that wolf in sheep's clothing.
GERUND
That's our dog, Pa.
SISSY
You know you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
PA
So who taught him to wear that sheepskin in the first place?
MA
Gerund! Sissy! Grab the apples!
SFX: ow! sound
GERUND
Ma's right, Sissy. An apple a day does keep the doctor away.
SFX: crash
SISSY
Oh boo-hoo-hoo.
GERUND
Oh, Sissy, don't cry over spilt milk.
SISSY
But I was a gonna make some ice cream tonight with it.
GERUND
That's okay. The show must go on.
Sissy
The show! I forgot all about it!
SFX: Literal Family closing theme
MA
Ah, look, Pa, at those little happy campers together in our yard.
PA
Yeah, well, tell the girls to stay away from 'em – they might have fleas.
©2000-2023 Lishka DeVoss/Kranky Kids®