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COWS and DRAMA: Time For Cows

The Ankole

Ankole is a cattle group name – a group is defined as sharing similar characteristics that are not easily changed by their immediate environment and can therefore be found over a large area. Learn more about Ankole cattle.

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Cast In Order Of Appearance:

Announcer
Reporter
Ankole

SFX: opening Time For Cows theme music

ANNOUNCER

Cows in Uganda? Today we are talking to the Ankole.

SFX: moo

REPORTER

Wow! Those are some of the biggest and fattest horns I’ve ever seen on a cow.

ANKOLE

Thank you.

REPORTER

Are you sure you’re a cow?

ANKOLE

What? Of course I’m a cow. I’m a Sanga cow, which is a cross between the Eqyptian Longhorn from the Nile Valley and the Longhorn Zebu from India and Pakistan.

REPORTER

But those horns! They’re. . . they’re enormous!

ANKOLE

They’re necessary.

REPORTER

For what? For goring other creatures?

ANKOLE

That’s one reason. But the main reason is that we developed in an African climate where daily temperatures range from 20 to 120 degrees fahrenheit. Our blood circulates through our horns and cools off before returning to our body.

REPORTER

So, essentially, you’re a walking horn radiator. Can I fry an egg on your horns?

ANKOLE

I think it would slip off, don’t you?

REPORTER

Yeah, they’re not really a good shape for a cooking surface. So hey! How about milk? Do you produce a lot of milk because of your horns?

ANKOLE

Because of my horns?

REPORTER

Yeah. To balance your body so you don’t fall over with too much weight on one end. Big horns on one end and a big udder on the other end.

ANKOLE

No.

REPORTER

No?

ANKOLE

No. We Ankole are not known for being big producers of milk.

REPORTER

Oh.

ANKOLE

We are prized as status symbols and used in certain rituals by different tribes in Eastern Africa. And, we have exceptional meat.

REPORTER

Really? Why? What makes it exceptional?

ANKOLE

It’s very lean and low in cholesterol. I’m told it’s quite tasty.

REPORTER

You don’t know?

ANKOLE

I’m a vegetarian.

REPORTER

You have a lot of different names too.

ANKOLE

Yes, Ankole, Watusi, Ankole-Watusi, Inkuku, Inyambo – it all depends on who is doing the naming.

REPORTER

But the names all have one meaning.

ANKOLE

Excuse me?

REPORTER

Monster Horns! Run everybody! Run! Monster Horns is here!

ANKOLE

Hey, where are you going?

SFX: moo
SFX: closing Time For Cows theme music

©2006-2014 Lishka DeVoss/Kranky Kids®

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