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DRAMA: Radio Afters

The Literal Family: Chapter 2

We took everything literally, just like this family.

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Cast In Order Of Appearance:

Narrator
Ma
Pa
Gerund
Sissy
Everyone

NARRATOR

And now for a day in the life of the Literal Family with Ma and Pa Idiom and the twins – Sissy and Gerund.

SFX: Literal Family opening theme

MA

Kids! Come on down to breakfast. Remember, first come is first served.

PA

But Ma, I've been sittin' here for an hour and there ain't no food on my plate.

MA

Oh, don't get your nose out of joint, Pa.

PA

I'm sorry. I tried to fix it before a settin' down here at the table. How's it look now?

MA

Don't worry, Pa. What will be, will be.

GERUND

Hi, Ma. Hi, Pa.

SISSY

What's fer breakfast?

GERUND

Look, Sissy! It's raining cats and dogs!

SISSY

Goodness gracious, will you look at all them fight as they hit the ground.

MA

Stop staring out the window and go get some fruit from the barrel.

GERUND

What's the point, Ma? You know one rotten apple spoils the whole barrel.

SISSY

Yeah, and the one we pulled out yesterday was a doozy!

MA

Yes, well, our fruit situation has been touch and go.

GERUND

You touched it, Sissy! So it's your turn to go!

SISSY

Okay.

SFX: door slams

GERUND

Pa, it's time we turned over a new leaf.

PA

You're right, Gerund. Go out and see to the oak in the backyard.

MA

Now, that is the last straw.

GERUND

What, Ma? Are we out of matches again?

MA

Not to worry. We should count our blessings.

EVERYONE

One, Two, Three, Four . . .

SISSY

Hey, everyone! Look at what I got!

GERUND

Where'd you get all that money?

SISSY

From a fool.

GERUND

Did it take long?

SISSY

Naw, a fool and his money are soon parted.

GERUND

Hey! I heard every cloud has a silver lining.

PA

Well, I guess we should all go out and look, now shouldn't we.

SISSY

That cloud doesn't look lined!

GERUND

Hey! Ow! Ma!

MA

Now what?

GERUND

Sissy's bending my ear!

MA

Sissy, you've gotten yourself into a lot of hot water.

SISSY

Well, I am tryin' to take a bath, Ma. What did you expect?

MA

Oh, never mind.

SFX: Literal Family closing theme

MA

Oh, Pa, they're good children, just keep your fingers crossed.

PA

I will, Ma. But for how long should I do it? It makes it a might difficult to tie my shoes and pull up my socks.

©2000-2014 Lishka DeVoss/Kranky Kids®

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