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DRAMA: Looking For Godzilla's Sandals

Live Recording - Stage Performance

You have to understand – we recorded our lines and then the students switched parts so that they would do terrible jobs lipsyncing while it played over the theater's sound system. This way they looked just like the actors did in the Godzilla films when they were dubbed in English. This stage script is longer because we added a lot of Godzilla monster facts for a later production.

Cast In Order Of Appearance:

Teacher (also plays Shopkeeper)
Student Four (also plays Reporter)
Mallrat (also plays Dentist)
Quatay
Student One (also plays Mother)
Student Two (also plays Perfumer)
Student Three (also plays Narrator)
Mother
Shopkeeper
Perfumer
Dentist
Reporter
Narrator

TEACHER

Now class, who can tell me what Godzilla’s name is in Japanese?

STUDENT FOUR

I can!

MALLRAT

I can!

QUATAY

I can!

TEACHER

Now, now. One at a time please. Yes?

STUDENT ONE

Gojira.

TEACHER

That’s correct. And is Godzilla a good monster or a bad monster? You, in the back?

STUDENT TWO

Well, when he first appeared he was a bad monster because he breathed fire and stomped Tokyo to the ground. But after some sensitivity training he became a good monster who fought other bad monsters.

TEACHER

Very good. Who can name some of those bad monsters?

QUATAY

Ebirah, the gigantic shrimp!

STUDENT THREE

Gigan, the flying metal monster with a buzz saw in his belly! He was from Planet X.

TEACHER

Any more?

MALLRAT

Megalon, the giant cockroach!

STUDENT ONE

Hedora, the 400 pound sludge blob that was born out of waste, factory fumes and smog!

STUDENT FOUR

Yeah, and there was Biollante, the genetically engineered monster plant!

STUDENT TWO

And Ghidrah, otherwise known as Monster Zero, also from Planet X.

MALLRAT

Oh, oh, oh, and, uh em, Mechagodzilla, the evil robot duplicate of Godzilla built by ape aliens!

TEACHER

Excellent! And Godzilla also fought the spiny Angurus and some giant spiders.

QUATAY

But he had friends, too!

TEACHER

Yes, he did. And who were those friends?

STUDENT THREE

Mothra, the giant moth. But she had to fight him at first and then they became friends later.

STUDENT ONE

Rodan, the giant prehistoric bird was his friend.

MALLRAT

So was King Seeser, the humongous ancient crab from Okinawa.

STUDENT FOUR

Spiny Angillus was a friend.

QUATAY

Don’t forget Jet Jaguar, the robot superhero who helped Godzilla fight Megalon and Gigan.

TEACHER

We won’t, I’m certain of that. Did Godzilla have any children?

STUDENT TWO

Yes, he had a son, Minya.

TEACHER

Very good.

SFX: transition music

STUDENT THREE

Ooooooh, all this history makes me sleepy. I think I’ll take a little nap.

SFX: music (we used "Down Love" by Paul Westerberg)

MOTHER

Quatay! Turn down that radio!

QUATAY

But Mother, it is the best music of the day. How will I fit in with my classmates if I am not hep to the jive.

MOTHER

Hep your jive some other time. You’re waking up Godzilla.

QUATAY

Godzilla? The sleeping monster in Tokyo Bay who wakes up now and then and stomps downtown Tokyo to the ground?

MOTHER

That’s the one.

QUATAY

Why does he always go for that part of the city?

MOTHER

No one’s ever been able to figure that out yet.

QUATAY

And what’s he doing here in Portsmouth?

SFX: crashing sounds

MOTHER

Oh no! It’s too late! You have awakened him!

SFX: louder crashes and breaking glass

QUATAY

Look! He’s heading for the Mall of Everything You Could Ever Possibly Think of To Buy.

SFX: crash and breaking glass

SHOPKEEPER

Run away! Run away! He’s pulling the shops apart one by one!

SFX: louder crashes and breaking glass

PERFUMER

Maybe he’s looking for some scale freshener. He’s probably all slimy from being in the water so much.

DENTIST

Or maybe he’s looking for a giant toothbrush to get rid of all that fishy smell on his breath.

REPORTER

Look! He’s eating the TV crew of channel nine!

DENTIST

They must be doing an internal investigative report.

SHOPKEEPER

But look again! He keeps pausing at the shoe stores.

EVERYONE

What can this mean?

QUATAY

Mother, in all the years you’ve seen Godzilla, has he ever had any shoes on?

MOTHER

No, I don’t think so. You mean -

QUATAY

Yes! Somehow he must be trying to fit in with his classmates.

DENTIST

By wearing shoes?

SHOPKEEPER

He’s holding onto a pair of sandals!

PERFUMER

He looks sad.

EVERYONE

What can we do?

SFX: thinking music from Jeopardy done a cappella

NARRATOR

And so they gathered all their friends, turned up the music, and began making the largest, coolest pair of summer footgear they could. Just to make certain they fit, the kids placed the right shoe on top of the Junior High School -

SFX: breaking glass

EVERYONE

Oops!

NARRATOR

- and the left shoe on top of the local High School.

MOTHER

Wait! Put that shoe on top of that loud radio station you listen to.

QUATAY

But, Mom -

MOTHER

Just do it! I know what I’m talking about.

SFX: louder crash

NARRATOR

Not only did the shoes fit, but with the juice of the radio station surging through his body, Godzilla boogied his way back into the water. Downtown Portsmouth was saved!

EVERYONE

Hooray!

MOTHER

Well, we’d better start working on a wardrobe for him. How about some nice Hawaiian shirts?

QUATAY

Aw, Mom.

SFX: transition music

TEACHER

And when Godzilla recently took over Madison Square Garden in New York City, with whom was Godzilla really angry?

STUDENT THREE

Ticketmaster?

SFX: transition end music

©1997-2014 Lishka DeVoss/Kranky Kids®

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